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17 Reasons You Should Absolutely Never Visit Molokai

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It’s known as “the most Hawaiian island,” because of it’s underdeveloped and laid-back vibe. Who would want to visit that?

1. Because when you visit Molokai you won’t see many tourists. Obviously it means there’s something wrong with the island.

Molokai’s north shore.

2. Because with less than 8,000 people living on the island it’s pretty much impossible to escape the crowds.

As of 2010 the population was 7,345.

3. Because Molokai is home to the longest fringing reef in the U.S. If you like snorkeling or scuba diving then definitely don’t go to Molokai.

 

The reef stretches nearly 25 miles.

4. Because the sunsets are bland and colorless.

Yawn. Wake me when it’s morning.

5. Because buildings cannot be taller than coconut trees. If you like long elevator rides then avoid Molokai at all costs!

Technically there are different limits depending on the type of building, but in general Molokai doesn’t allow construction of tall buildings.

6. Because on a clear day you’ll see Maui across the water and be overwhelmed with a desire to leave Molokai.

Why would you want to stay any longer when Maui is just a boat ride away?

7. Because the beaches are hazardous.

8. I mean look at this! Can you imagine how miserable it would be to spend an afternoon on here?

9. Because you can send yourself a coconut through the mail, and it’s literally the most exciting thing you can do on the island.

 

Yep. It’s called “Post-A-Nut.”

10. Because the second most exciting thing you can do is visit something called “Phallic Rock.”

What a dumb looking rock to take selfies in front of?

11. Because there are annoying signs reminding you to slow down.

12. Because there’s a farmers market that ONLY happens on Saturdays.

 

It’s a complete waste of time. Don’t go.

13. Because traffic in Molokai is insane, just look at this shot of the main street. And yeah, I said THE main street, as in there’s only one.

14. Because part of Molokai is a straight up leper colony.

In the mid 1800’s sufferers of the disease were first abandoned on Molokai. The Kalaupapa peninsula was essentially a prison for them, as it’s surrounded by cliffs and water.

Drugs that were developed in the 1940’s stopped the spread of the disease. However, there are still 40 residents living in Kalaupapa, and though they are no longer contagious, access to the area is strictly regulated. The peninsula is now a National Historic Site where you can learn more about the disease and it’s important role in the history of Molokai.

Dedicated to preserving the memories and experiences of the past, the guided mule tour is a great way experience Kalaupapa and take in the incredible views.

15. Because this is the Molokai airport.

16. And because this bench at the airport doubles as baggage claim.

 

No conveyer belts in Molokai.

17. Because the Molokai Visitor Center even warns you that there are no four or five star dining opportunities.

But they do say “you will be able to find good food and ambiance from picnic tables to beachfront dining.” Talk about miserable?

Read more: http://www.buzzfeed.com/mathewguiver/head-to-molokai-immediately

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